I'm a relatively intuitive person, and I'm extremely sensitive to people's underlying emotions because I am acutely aware of my own emotions: in fact, I would even go so far as to say that it's impossible for me to ignore people's feelings.
I can tell very quickly how someone is reacting to what I say and do. In the past, I was one of those very bothersome, reactionary people that responds to everything with every fiber of their being. For example: when I was upset, I was upset. In my life, I have been told by close friends that they have been afraid to tell me something because they didn't know how I would react. This can be both a good and a bad thing, but it was mostly bad at the time.
Now, I don't react in the same way: in most cases, when things bother me, I don't react at all like I used to. When my boss makes me feel like the work I do is a waste of her time, or that it's not good enough, instead of reacting immediately with feelings of hurt and indignation, I think about what is happening on her end that would make her treat me in such a way. Exercises like these have really helped me in terms of giving people the benefit of the doubt, and to think of situations from different points of view. In essence, everything is not about me, although that does not give people the right to mistreat me.
I have been privy to many different types of reactions today, and, thus, have been given many opportunities to examine situations from other peoples' points of view. These past several months, I have been putting forward my best effort to analyze events in order to determine if I did anything that could have caused such (often) negative reactions from people in my life who I care about, admire, or respect.
I have made a few observations on this front:
-- I have the unfortunate curse of often being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
--Typically, negative reactions are just another form of displacement, because usually the reason for a vehement, undesirable response has absolutely nothing to do with me.
--People make excuses for their abrasive, irrelevant behavior because they would rather cause me to feel negatively than face something they do not like about themselves or their lives at the moment.
Everything that you say in here is good, but I especially like your last point about excuses for behavior, and I am tired of excuses for bad behavior! There are just times when you have to clam it up and save it for later and not dump on other people. And even if I act out of sorts sometimes (and we all do every now and then), I want you to know that I always think highly of you because you are smart, friendly, and ridiculously fun to be around! :D
ReplyDeleteHaving known you for quite some time now, I know first hand that you've come a long in regards to letting things bother you.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, you ARE definitely an intuitive person; but I think that also serves as your downfall sometimes. That is, I think that because you consider yourself such an intuitive person, that you necessarily think that your intuitions are always accurate. This is not the case, however. I think that sometimes, because of past experiences, you think people are out to get you or people naturally have devious intentions toward you...The fact of the matter is, people now have no relation to some arbitrary person in the past, and thus they should be given a clean slate!
You mention that you have been trying to be more empathetic lately...I think that this is truly the way to be, so good work! I know sometimes road rage gets the best of you, but just keep in mind that some people are unfamiliar with the area and are just trying to find out where they're going :D
Now if we can just work on that patience of yours... :x
Miss you.
I can generally tell how people are feeling as well. OR, I can tell when people have something to say, but are having trouble getting the balls to say it. LOL
ReplyDeleteDon't let bosses get you down. : )